


From Eden

by silvernightstorm



Category: Nikolai Series - Leigh Bardugo, Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo, The Grisha Trilogy - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff and Crack, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Pining, Slow Burn, because I'm bad at actually writing the slow part, ish
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-07 04:14:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,184
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26346919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silvernightstorm/pseuds/silvernightstorm
Summary: Bros get fake married to protect each other from gold diggers. Bros catch feelings for each other. What happens next will warm your heart.After a joke from Genya goes terribly horribly miserably wrong, Zoya and Nikolai get fake married “To Save Ravka”. Of course they’re only doing this for their country. No feelings here. None. Zilch. Zero. N. O. N. E. (They both absolutely have feelings). Cue the romantic comedy adventure full of misunderstandings and pining where everyone around our two idiots can see they’re clearly had over heels for each other!
Relationships: Nikolai Lantsov/Zoya Nazyalensky
Comments: 27
Kudos: 104
Collections: Grishaverse Big Bang 2020





	1. Chapter 1

The thing about Genya Safin that Zoya had come to realize is that she was entirely too smart for her own good. As a notoriously stubborn person, Zoya used to hate this quality with an unparalleled rage, but as she was now, in her mid-twenties, she thought she had come to terms with her friend’s ability to say exactly what she did not want to hear. 

She was wrong. 

The meeting of the Triumvirate and the King had been going perfectly smoothly up until then––if “perfectly smoothly” meant “an absolute disaster, but surprisingly less so than normal.” They had already discussed new security threats, old security threats, and miscellaneous security threats. Zoya had given her report on the newest Grisha children that were living at the Little Palace, and which students had decided to pursue non-army careers after their graduation. Nikolai enthusiastically provided an update on his latest research project - an irrigation system to increase the efficiency of farming in arid regions of Novyi Zem as an offering to strengthen their alliance - gesticulating so happily that he knocked his crown clean off his head. After the incident, Zoya had given the crown a safe perch on the table, which unfortunately left Nikolai free to run his hands through his blonde hair, making it increasingly messy but somehow more charming. 

Zoya had been drowning herself in tea to give her something else to look at as she could not seem to divert her eyes from the King’s disordered golden locks. So she had settled for never-ending refills from the  _ samovar _ to provide a distraction while Genya reported on the newest batch of tailors training in the Little Palace. David had yet to contribute, participating in the conversation by reaching over and patting Genya’s hand whenever she gestured wildly. Apparently, the new students were a bit overzealous and had begun to tailor their hair unnatural colors. 

“How unnatural?” asked Nikolai suddenly, and Zoya fought the urge to drown herself in her tea. “I would look dashing with blue hair.” 

“Blue? You’ll look like a court jester!” she snarked, dropping her cup onto the table. “You’ll never find Ravka a Queen looking like one of your experiments took a shit on you.” And why the Saints would someone want to change what was already perfect? 

“Ravka doesn’t need a Queen yet,” retorted Nikolai. “But my charms are irresistible to any woman, even with blue hair.” He waggled his eyebrows in a manner that would have made anyone else look absurd, but just served to make him more charming. 

And, this was the moment Zoya lost the room. In fairness, she supposed, it wasn’t quite Genya’s fault. If she hadn’t opened her big mouth, nothing would have come of it. At twenty-five, she had gotten much better at policing her tone, and thinking before she snapped. But some comments were too smug to be left alone. She was always notoriously bad at dealing with a cocksure attitude. 

“I resist them,” scoffed Zoya, rolling her eyes, seizing her cup again, and drinking more tea, hoping the steam could account for any wayward angry flush on her face. Obviously, she was just drinking too hot tea. Nothing more. Nothing else but rage and a hot beverage. 

“Honestly, it would be best for the country if the Queen could resist his charms,” laughed Genya. “You might be the best choice for our sanity, Zoya.”

Zoya swore she couldn’t roll her eyes more, but the people around her strove to prove otherwise. And unfortunately for her, she was too busy scoffing to see the glint in Nikolai’s eyes. It’s moments like these that reminded her why she couldn’t take her eyes off of him. For the safety of Ravka, clearly. 

“That’s not a bad idea,” he said softly, strangely contemplative. He leveled Zoya with a look, his usual smiling visage smoothed into a strange, handsome seriousness. “Ravka respects you, you’ve earned your position here, and making you Queen would further secure the place of Grisha in this country. Having a Grisha Queen would encourage more practitioners of the small science to come here. And, obviously, you’re trustworthy. Or I’ve been making a very foolish mistake for years,” he finished with a wink. 

Zoya couldn’t help herself, the laughter snuck out before she could hold it back. “You’re just saying that to avoid looking for someone suitable,” she managed, mid-laugh. It was the first true laugh she had in awhile, always self-conscious of how she was a bit too loud and not put together when she was fully absorbed in levity. 

“Maybe so,” cut in Genya. “But you have to admit, it’s a solid idea. Finding a suitable Queen has been going nowhere, especially since most of the eligible women we can find either have their own agendas or are ugly from centuries of inbreeding. Not even my tailoring could help them.” 

“Plus, not even Zoya could complain with a King as a partner,” smirked Nikolai. 

“Don’t underestimate me,” snorted Zoya. “You forget who the King is in this scenario, a wanna-be blue-haired buffoon.”

Nikolai almost pouted. “Blue hair or not, I’m still a genius!” he said, petulantly. But then he leaned forward and planted his hands on the table, shaking some wayward strands of hair out of his eyes. “No, but seriously,” he started, looking more intense than normal, with the same focus he had on his experiments. “This. This solves so many issues! Genya has been trying to get me to marry for years, and I need an heir to secure the throne for the future. The fact that we have had peace for these six years is astonishing and I truly don’t think it will last. And Ravka needs a legacy! And every option you’ve found, no offense,” he grimaced at Genya, “has been terrible in one way or the other. I will not put Ravka in peril by choosing the wrong woman. The person I marry has to love this country as much as I do, and no one has fought harder for Ravka than you have, Zoya.” 

Zoya fought not to smile. She loved her country, despite its flaws and how it had hurt her. And she loved that the people closest to her could see that, despite her prickly exterior. While she had mellowed down in the years, people were still scared of her, and while they were right to fear her, knowing those who truly saw her knew of the love she felt for her country felt good. 

But as soon as the happiness touched her, she realized what Nikolai had truly asked. The nerve of the handsome bastard. She levelled him with a poisonous glare. “Was that supposed to be romantic? Because you missed a few niceties before asking me to fuck you. I am  _ not _ a convenient solution for you to marry since you couldn’t get Alina to be your wife. And, considering when you asked her to marry you, aren’t I a bit too  _ young _ for your tastes? ” 

Nikolai winced, and even David shuddered at the vitriol pouring off of Zoya. Genya just sighed. “Don’t be a fool, Zoya. Nothing about you is convenient.” The contrary part of Zoya enjoyed the backwards compliment, but it did little to quell her rage. 

“Marrying Alina seemed like the least painful solution at the time,” Nikolai said mournfully. “We were at war and… I thought I could marry a friend who I trust to not abuse the status. It’s not romantic but the King can’t afford to be romantic.” Nikolai sunk back into his chair, his eyes darkening. “It was so  _ easy _ to forget how young she was during the war. The weight of the world should never be on the shoulders of a child and that’s what she  _ was _ . I… I tried to pursue her romantically when she was a child and that was despicable of me. It’s one of my biggest regrets. What I did to her was terrible and I’ve never truly made up for it.” He sighed. “Every time I visit her I try to make amends. I will be making them til the day I die.” 

“But Zoya, this is different. We’re both grown and…” Nikolai seemed to steel himself. “I have to choose the best person for Ravka, and if I’m lucky, that person will also be good for me. You three in this room are my closest friends and most trusted companions. And if I cannot wisely marry for love, I would like to at the very least marry a friend.” He smiled wryly before continuing, “I’m not the only genius in this room, Zoya, and you know I would never ask  _ anyone _ to marry me just to get in their pants.” 

Zoya sighed, deflating, abandoning the dregs in her teacup and massaging her temples. “Then keep me out of this messy joke and marry Genya.” 

A snapping noise had the room turning to face David, who was now splattered in ink with a broken pen in his hands. “Absolutely not. You cannot marry my wife.” 

And Zoya froze. She had obviously known that the two were together. But how could she not have known that her closest of friends was married? And obviously since this whole conversation was a joke, she hadn’t meant anything by suggesting Genya marry Nikolai. She just wished to highlight the absurdity of the situation. But the idea that Genya had not even told her of her  _ marriage _ … 

Before she could delve down that spiral of thought too deeply, Genya spoke. “You… want to marry me?” she said, softly, pulling Zoya out of her musings, back into the conversation. 

“Oh, did we not do that yet?” mumbled David, rummaging for some clean parchment and a new pen. “Of course, we should fix that.” Of course, she should have known. David, for all his intelligence, had a knack of making assumptions like no other. 

“Was that a proposal?” Genya smiled, pulling David’s chin to her so she could look him in the eyes. “Truly?”

“Of course,” David smiled slightly, before pulling away and going back to his papers. As if suddenly remembering what he had just done, he reached out with his left hand and grasped Genya’s in his, pulling it up for a quick kiss. And then he returned to his papers, unaffected, as Genya turned slowly pink. 

“So, um, yes right,” she mumbled. Genya shook herself, focusing back on the conversation at hand. “I was joking originally, but Nikolai makes a good point. And, truly, if you hate this idea Zoya, I won’t bring it up again. I know what this would be asking but… Don’t you see how this works? How it is absolutely perfect? You could be the Queen that Ravka finally deserves. You could make sure Grisha have more status and solidify a safe place for us in this world for generations to come. You can reverse the damage  _ he _ did to the Grisha reputation. And you can keep our foolish King safe.” And Genya, the nerve, had the audacity to turn slightly to face her, and to wink with the eye hidden from Nikolai’s view. That was when Zoya knew that her friend had seen further into her psyche than she originally thought. That was when she knew that she was well and truly in trouble. And that she desperately needed to speak with Genya, woman to woman. 

“It wouldn’t be believable. Why would we just start seeing each other after all these years? It’s absurd! No one would buy it.” Zoya could feel herself sweating now despite the breeze in the room. And looking across the room, at Nikolai’s intelligent eyes, she knew she was going to agree to this farce. As much as she pretended otherwise, and much as she tried to hide it, as much as she played the strict advisor, she knew she was weak for him. 

“I know this is sudden, but after hearing this idea… I don’t think I could forget it. Zoya, you as our Queen? I can’t imagine anyone more perfect for Ravka,” said Nikolai softly, running a gloved hand through his perfect messy golden hair. “It seems absurd, but I cannot think of a better solution to all of our problems. And now you won’t have to worry about me messing up this choice.” He smiled, self-deprecating, crooked, and charming. 

Zoya looked down and spoke to her hands, hoping no one could hear the abnormally loud beating of her heart. “Okay. What is the plan?” 


	2. Nikolai Interlude 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nikolai quietly has a crisis.

Nikolai had one true fear in his life and it was his fear of Zoya seeing him blush. In fairness, it wasn’t his  _ only _ fear, just the most currently pressing one. The first and only other time Zoya had seen him blush, she had smirked and made comments about “the tomato King of Ravka” for the next month. And, generally, his full face blushes were not becoming for a King so needless to say, he had taken preventive measures. 

Thank the Saint’s that David didn’t ask too many questions and just thrived in scientific development. If he had asked any other Fabrikator to make him a skin-tone tinted opaque cream to cover his face in  _ just in case  _ of another full body blush, word would have gotten around the palace in seconds. But David was a bro and would never betray him. Unless it was for science. Which, admittedly, would be a very valid betrayal. 

But thankfully, he had his magic blush be gone face mask and was able to not visibly blush despite how his face  _ burned _ when Genya started outlining a “believable” plan for the fake relationship that would rule Ravka. While normally Nikolai was all about planning, it took all of his self control to simply look like he was focusing on the conversation. The urge to just stare at Zoya and to try to understand the thoughts behind her stormy eyes was simply overwhelming. 

He really should be paying attention to this plan. But Zoya was staring at Genya with a slight furrow between her brows and all he wanted to do was reach out and smooth it over. She definitely didn’t realize how important this was to him, how important Ravka was, and how important  _ she _ was. But now that they had a chance, he could show her. 


	3. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoya's crisis continues. Nina tries to help. It's. Not very helpful.

The worst part about the “plan” is that it wasn’t so much a plan as it was “go about life as usual but gradually become more affectionate.” Frankly, it was such an idiotic plan that Zoya can’t decide which she was more offended by: that Genya thought of it, or that David agreed that it would work. She already detested public displays of affection and the thought of having to fake her way through a physical relationship was distasteful at best, but the words “For Ravka” repeated in her head like a mantra as she fought not to meet Nikolai’s piercing gaze from across the table. 

It was with alarming speed that she ran out of the meeting room when everything was done, and only the equally speedy footsteps behind her and the cry of “Wait!” made her pause. 

Nikolai had quite literally chased her out of the meeting room, not even grabbing his crown off the table. He paused, and reached out to gently hold her wrist. She absolutely did  _ not _ lean into the warm touch. 

“Please don’t be distant because of this,” he said softly, earnestly. “I don’t want things to change between us. You’re my best friend.” 

Coldness washed over her and Zoya pulled her arm from his hand. Right. Friend. And she smirked. “Of course not,” she said, ice in her tone. “The whole point of this is to have your  _ friend _ as Queen.” She rolled her eyes and took a step away. “Obviously since this is just an  _ arrangement _ we don’t truly have to worry about things changing. You can still have a mistress if you’d like, I know how men are.” 

“I can ha- what?” 

She scoffed, turning away from him. “A mistress, of course. This is a partnership. Like you said, you don’t want things to change between us. It’s only natural you keep seeing someone else. Obviously I won’t have that luxury…”

“No, of course not!” gasped Nikolai. “If I get a mistress you can have one, too!” he laughed, before quickly falling silent. 

“Right.” Zoya turned to look at Nikolai again, who was now stubbornly looking at the ground. “Right, fine. That’s. That’s how it will be.”

“Should we. Hug or something?” asked Nikolai quietly. “Genya said we should start being more affectionate.”

“I think she specifically meant we should be caught doing something scandalous soon,” retorted Zoya icily. “And I  _ don’t _ hug.” And with that, she turned and walked away. 

-

She stalked through the halls back to the little palace, her frustration pouring off of her despite her best efforts to keep calm and neutral and unaffected. How dare he. How  _ dare _ he! Damn that stupid, caring, bastard. How  _ dare _ he wave off her concerns by just offering her a mistress of her own? They would make a parody of a functional royal couple, she was sure of it. 

Zoya tried to soften her expression as she came across some of the newer Grisha at the palace, but even the younglings shrunk away from her stiff form and strained smile. She practically ran through the halls, making it to her rooms in record time. Without even bothering to remove her boots, Zoya dropped to her bed as if her strings were cut. The coldness that had touched her spine at Nikolai’s confirmation of their friendship had seeped into her bones, and she curled up in her covers, grabbing a pillow and pulling it close. 

Foolish. She was absolutely foolish. 

How could she have let this happen? She had let herself forget. Forget who she was, a General, one of the leaders of the Grisha. She had let her forget about her alliances and keeping her people safe. She had let her forget about Ravka and the priorities of the country that housed her people. And she had let her forget that the King valued her as a tool, and nothing more. 

She was a fool. A fool who once again mistook kindness for affection and damn it she had played herself again into thinking that someone who she cared for would feel the same way. Say what you will about Nikolai’s big speech on his friendship with Zoya, he wouldn’t have taken the out for a mistress if he didn’t think affection could grow between them. 

She should have stuck to sleeping with peasant soldiers. 

Curling up tighter in her navy duvet, Zoya did not cry. 

-

The benefits of kohl were many, but the best one, as taught to Zoya by Liliyana Auntie years and years ago, was covering up the tender swollen mess caused by a good cry. There was nothing a properly executed smudge of kohl  _ couldn’t _ fix, expect the mess that was her life. 

With her eyes sufficiently doe-like, Zoya gathered herself. She changed into a new Kefta, as her current one was wrinkled from sleep-and-self-pity, refreshed her curls, and put on her battle face. 

It was time to train the younglings. 

Today’s lesson was focused on  _ sense _ . The ability to sense and connect to their primary element was critical for any successful Grisha, and practically a requirement for Grisha health. Though it had been a while since a newfound Grisha came to the little palace in as poor health as Alina, many younglings tried to shove down their powers out of fear and it was only thanks to the struggles of the former Sun Summoner that the Triumvirate even knew what signs to look for in their new wards. 

A new group of young Grisha had arrived recently from Fjerda and of their ranks, three were in concerning health. The struggle to stay hidden in Fjerda was all encompassing, and it was honestly astounding that the entire group did not fare as Alina did. As it was, the three who needed this lesson were sickly despite being in the palace for a week. Some Grisha immediately grasped their powers at the first hint of freedom, but as was the case for many, their fear of themselves was so deeply ingrained in their hearts that they doubted they could truly be themselves despite assurances. 

That was where Zoya came in. Or rather, that was where Zoya brought in Nina. 

She knew that she wasn’t the most…  _ approachable _ of people and despite her attempts to be more friendly over the years, it was still rather obvious that kindness didn’t come to her naturally. Thankfully, Nina took to kindness the way she took to waffles, with great enthusiasm. Despite the mutation of her powers, the girl had managed to embrace them and love them. She was the best person to teach these lost Grisha. 

For her part, Zoya mostly sat in the corner of the room and observed, occasionally giving demonstrations or tips to the one etherealki in the room. Nina managed the children like a pro, consoling them and helping them feel more comfortable, showing them how “weird” her powers were, and slowly starting the process of teaching them to love themselves. 

Zoya had zoned out a bit and before she knew it the class was over. One of the children, a tiny Hedjut girl, was tugging on her robes earnestly. “Miss Zoya!” she was repeating in a small voice. Zoya, surprised that one of the kids approached her, just nodded. “Thank you!” the girl said, throwing her arms around Zoya and giving her a quick hug, before rushing out of the room. Zoya froze, staring out the door until Nina’s quiet laugh brought her back to the present with a scowl. 

“I can’t say I blame you for being so distracted with the news Genya told me!” crowed Nina, her eyes twinkling. 

Zoya froze. “What did she tell you?” she said, her voice slightly panicked. Saints knew Nina couldn’t keep a secret. How that girl participated in a heist, she would never understand. 

“I am so happy for you!” Nina was all smiles as she pulled Zoya into another surprise hug. She did hold on long enough for Zoya to respond, and so the etherealnik cautiously wrapped her arms around her protege. 

“Um. Thank you?” ventured Zoya, mentally berating herself for stuttering. Zoya did not  _ stutter _ . This whole mess was making her lose her mind. 

“It’s just. I know it’s not my place but,” Nina took a quick step back and wrung her hands together. “I’m just. I’m so glad you’re finally letting yourself be happy! Hearing that you’ll officially court Nikolai is just. It’s about time! Finally!”

Zoya’s brain ground to a halt. They hadn’t even officially started their “plan” and Genya was spreading public rumors? And, for some reason, they were believable? The only conceivable explanation was that her pining was apparently visible to others and frankly, dealing with that sort of humiliation was not what she needed to  _ keep it together _ . In the midst of her poorly hidden crisis, Nina kept speaking. 

“I’m so sorry, I know it’s not public knowledge yet, Genya told me not to say anything but I had to congratulate you! I’ve seen you two together and you make the perfect pair, I’ve been saying that for years! And not to mention that you’ll be queen and I really can’t imagine anyone more suited. Let’s be fair, no one is as regal and terrifying and wonderfully caring as you!” 

Of all the things that came out of Nina’s mouth, it was the “wonderfully caring” that did Zoya in and she let out an abrupt laugh. “I don’t know what you heard while you were in Ketterdam, but I doubt people are calling me caring to this day,” she managed. 

Nina smiled brightly. “You can’t fool me,” she said softly. “I know you searched the world for me when I disappeared, and I know you care about all of your charges the same way. I know you’d raze the world for us, and honestly? Knowing you’ll be queen is an amazing relief.” Nina sighed, her eye glazing over as if she was looking at something far away. “And knowing you’ll have your love by your side as your partner? That makes me all the more happier for you.” 

Zoya pulled Nina into a hug. Zoya pulled Nina into a hug so her friend wouldn’t see the moisture building in her eyes. It was easy to forget what the girl had lost. She didn’t approve of that  _ man _ , and frankly she never would. But she had been willing to tolerate him for Nina’s happiness and seeing how she still suffered, four years later, it broke her heart. A part of her selfishly hoped that Nina would find someone again, simply so she wouldn’t have to see the dark emptiness in her best student’s eyes when she thought of him. 

Nina sighed, pulling herself out of Zoya’s arms. “You’ve gotten better at affection, I’m proud of you,” she said, all smiles again. She threw her arm around Zoya’s shoulder and guided her out of the room. “I know we’re not supposed to talk about it yet, so I  _ won’t _ ,” she winked, “but listen. The minute he brings you an official courting gift, you’re  _ required _ to tell me.” 

Zoya forced a smile on her face. “Of course!” she said with false excitement. She had not expected to begin the charade so early, but Genya moved fast. She would have to find Nikolai, and soon. They had a public scandal to orchestrate. 


	4. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "slow burn"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much to my betas, especially for this chapter for reminding me to ~actually end the events in a coherent manner~ instead of just dropping it off to oblivion. UH. Right ok I should probably give them the rest of the fic /flail/

It was an hour before midnight when he knocked on her door and she didn’t even have to pretend her annoyance when she opened it to his smiling visage, or disguise her need to furtively check the corridor, before pulling him into her room. After all, she was in her nightclothes, which, for Zoya, involved whatever lingerie she felt like wearing with her short midnight blue silk robe. 

“You smell like booze,” she said distastefully. “I know Genya said something about a scandal but isn’t this a bit  _ much _ .” She wrinkled her nose and sniffed delicately. “Did you pour whiskey on your shirt or something?” 

“That obvious?” replied Nikolai with a chuckle. “I wasn’t going to  _ actually _ show up to your room smashed, you know. But Genya thought this would be fitting considering our individual track records with dalliances.” He sauntered into the room as if it was his, dropping to sit on her bed and lounging like a king. 

Zoya’s scowl deepened as she followed the blonde who was making himself perfectly at home in her sanctuary. “Yes, sure, please make yourself at home!” 

Nikolai laughed again and spread his arms. “Come on, Zoya! Let’s have fun with this! We should jump on the bed and make  _ scandalous moaning sounds _ !” 

“I am  _ not _ comfortable with that,” she said, crossing her arms and rolling her eyes. “All this drama seems excessive,  _ honestly _ . Couldn’t you just get me a fake courting gift and call it a day? I look good in silver.” 

“I can get you silver too,” retorted Nikolai, a glint in his eye. “And if you draw your line at implying a hook-up, what  _ are _ you comfortable with?”

Zoya scoffed, throwing her hands in the air. “It’s not the implication that bothers me. It’s the story! We’re supposed to get married and... we should at least pretend to escalate this gradually. Getting caught kissing in shadowy corners first, before late night visits, at least! This is supposed to be love, after all.” 

Nikolai smirked, fluidly rising from the bed. “Genya suggested this because we wouldn’t have to actually  _ do _ anything but if you were comfortable kissing this whole time...” he trailed off, eyes dropping conspicuously to her lips. 

Zoya fumed, partially against her will, partially hoping her show of anger would disguise her increased heartbeat at the suggestion. “What of it? Like I haven’t kissed men before.” 

“But you haven’t kissed a  _ king _ ,” he retorted, running his fingers through his hair and further disheveling the blond locks. 

She scoffed, shrugging a shoulder, letting the neck of her silk robe open further. “Kings are just men with bigger egos,” she retorted, tossing her curls over a shoulder. “And I’m a  _ General _ . We aren’t so easily impressed by Kings.” 

“Hmm,” he rumbled softly, taking a step closer to her. “Either way,” he began, his voice dropping, “if you insist on us ‘getting caught kissing in shadowy corners’, we should definitely make sure it’s believable.” 

“Forgotten how to kiss a woman, have you?” snorted Zoya. “Poor King of Ravka, doesn’t remember where to put his hands.” She had moved towards him without realizing it and they were chest to chest. So close, she imagined she could feel his heartbeat with a bit of concentration. 

“Oh, I remember,” he retorted, leaning down to speak into her ear, his voice a low growl. “I just worry  _ you’re _ out of practice.” He started to pull away. 

Zoya let out a frustrated huff of breath and grabbed his lapel, stopping him from moving back, pulling him down so they were nose to nose. Her stormy eyes met his surprised ones and she snapped at him. “How dare! Out of practice!” She let out another angry noise before unceremoniously slamming her lips to his. 

He stood frozen for a moment before his lips twisted into his ever-present smirk. His hands moved from his sides, one winding into her hair to cup her neck while the other wrapped around her waist and pulled her tight against him. 

She felt his breath hitch as he tried to further deepen the kiss, but she pulled away, and smirked in the face of Nikolai’s dazed look. “I think I remember what I’m doing,” she said loftily, trying to ignore the fact that her heartbeat had sped up. 

Without missing a beat, he moved his hand from where it was at her waist down her hip. “And I clearly remember where to put my hands.” He smirked again, guiding her face closer to his again with the hand on her neck. “But that was hardly a kiss. So tame, Zoya! I wouldn’t have expected that from you!” 

His words swept across her lips and her mouth dropped open slightly at his  _ nerve _ before he was kissing her again. This time, he let his mouth open, tracing her lips with his tongue. Further frustrated at his escalation, Zoya growled into the kiss. She released her grip on his whiskey-drenched coat and raised her hands to tangle into his hair and pull his mouth closer. She ignored the voice in her head telling her that this was too much. She just let herself feel, for one moment, and let herself imagine this was something other than a stupid rebuttal to a joking dare. A small moan escaped her mouth against her will and she pulled on his hair in rage at her body’s betrayal, causing him to groan against her lips. 

They separated with a gasp and he was still grinning. “Should have known you wouldn’t do anything half-assed,” he smirked, his long fingers tracing absent-minded circles on her hip. “I guess this means you’re comfortable kissing in public.” 

“Of course,” she retorted, eyes flashing with challenge, trying to calm her heartbeat in vain. She ran her tongue over her lips, chasing the remnants of his taste on her skin. “Why wouldn’t I be? Not like a kiss  _ means _ anything.” 

Something flashed in Nikolai’s eyes, but he released his hold on her and stepped away, turning his gaze from hers. “Yeah, that’s true,” he responded with a sheepish grin, rubbing the back of his neck. “I was just making sure you’re ready to sell this.” 

Zoya backed up another step. “Of course.  _ I _ know what I signed up for. What this has to be.” She took a steadying breath and angled herself towards the door. “I think it’s been long enough.”

Nikolai’s face was inscrutable but he followed her prompt and made to leave, pausing at the door. “Zoya?” he said softly, as he opened it, forcing her to move closer to hear him. 

As he opened the door fully, he pulled her into his space and lightly brushed his lips over hers. She froze, not expecting the contact, even after what they had just done. He lingered close, smirking again. “Our first scandal! How exciting!” And then he was gone. 

Heart pounding, Zoya whipped the door shut and sunk to the floor, trembling. Of all the foolish moves to pull, she had to let that idiot king goad her into kissing him! Imbecilic! 

Zoya slowly pulled herself to her bed, trying to ignore the ghost of Nikolai’s lips on hers, his hands on her body, the feeling of his heartbeat through his coat. She didn’t get sleep that night, wallowing in her poor decision making skills and her fantasies of what could have been if any of this was  _ real _ . 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please feed me with comments for I desire validation and sustenance :3


	5. Nikolai Interlude 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nikolai over analyzes. Nikolai overcorrects. Zoya rampages.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Lol guess y’all are getting the rest of the chapters in like 48 hours cuz I forgot the date to have all this posted is 9/25 not 9/30 (oops). Also you might have noticed that the chapter count went down and that’s cuz the original chapter 4 was full of not fun self-sabotage and misunderstandings by our idiots in love so I nixed it in favor of fun self-sabotage and misunderstandings! Yay!

Hypothetically, if a king were to share passionate kisses with a woman who then (hypothetically) proceeded to avoid him for a week, the king in question must be a bad kisser. Or, perhaps more compellingly, the quality of the kisses were irrelevant and the romantic advance in general had been an unwanted invasion of privacy and the cold shoulder was the lady’s subtle way of trying to inform royalty that he was extremely out of line. 

So basically either way, Zoya definitely hated him.

The only logical solution to an illness of the heart was to move as far away from the source of pain as possible. Typically, as a king, this would be an ill-advisable move due to “responsibilities” and “the fate of a nation” but these logical points truly forgot to factor in the sheer despair that currently plagued Nikolai, King of Ravka. And without the ability to talk to his most trusted advisor and General, as she had been the one to cause the aforementioned heart illness, he was bound to make a terrible decision. 

At least, that’s the justification Nikolai used as he fidgeted with his Sturmhond wig and avoided the piercing deep brown eyes of the Suli woman in front of him. Captain Ghafa was, unfortunately, after years of partnering with him in cleaning up the seas, accustomed to his avoidance of responsibilities and knew that pressing him would result in more stubbornness. She wisely just raised a judgemental eyebrow with enough disdain to imply that he had, truly, fucked up. 

Nikolai sighed. “Is this wig really necessary?” 

Inej laughed, languidly flipping a knife. “It’s Ravka’s worst kept secret that you moonlight as a privateer, but you should at least _pretend_ to pretend,” she retorted. “Be thankful I keep those wigs on me, or you would be locked in a cabin for security and your adventure would be over before it started!” 

Feeling sufficiently like a kicked puppy, Nikolai shoved his (oversized) hat (specially designed to accommodate the requisite wigs) on his head and fought the urge to pout. It was undignified to pout, but he _felt_ undignified in this wig, no matter how many times Inej forced him to don it when he had business to attend to on the seas. They had quickly discovered that while Genya could tailor him every time, Genya was not at his beck and call and after a surprisingly angry David had chased him out of their chambers for interrupting “family time”, Nikolai had called to Inej to help him employ other means of disguise. Strictly for emergencies, of course, as (most of) his excursions were sponsored by the Triumvirate. 

Shaking himself to free his thoughts, Nikolai cracked his knuckles and grinned at Inej. “It’s time to hunt some slavers. Who have you been chasing?” 

\--

A gust of wind knocked the slaver in front of him directly off of the ship, and any relief Nikolai felt at their disappearance was immediately replaced with a shiver down his spine at Zoya's voice, drenched with disdain. 

“ _ This _ is what you’ve been doing? Screwing off to play pirate?”

He dropped his sword in surrender and held his hands up before spinning to face her, making certain that his smirk was firmly in place. “Did you miss me darling?” he asked, grin widening as her eyebrows furrowed deeper in rage. _She has beautiful eyebrows, especially when angry. How can eyebrows be beautiful?_ He shook himself, trying to refocus. “In fairness, _this_ is ‘breaking up a slave trading ring’, which I would think is a rather noble cause.” 

She rolled her eyes and sighed, tossing her hair. “You need to come home. You can’t be doing this anymore, _moi tsar_ _.”_

Instead of answering, Nikolai’s eyes were drawn to the curious new piece of her wardrobe. “Since when do you wear a pirate hat?” 

Zoya’s annoyance immediately deepened, and she did not provide him with an answer. Instead, a cheerful tone piped up, accommodated by a flurry of red and blue. “It’s to help her blend in!” 

“Then where is your hat?” growled Zoya through gritted teeth.

Genya, for all her grace, looked completely unphased, winking at Nikolai. “Oh, I don’t have the bone structure for a hat,” she said, and even Nikolai could tell she was full of shit. Not that it mattered to him, as he was unable to tear his eyes away from the sight of his angry pirate Queen. 

Zoya spun to face her friend. “You have bone structure for literally _anything_ ! I am _not_ buying this shit and frankly I’m offended you think I would!” 

“But you wore the hat,” retorted Genya in a singing voice, causing Zoya’s glare to depen. 

Before Zoya could escalate, Nikolai spoke up. “How did you find me so fast?” 

“It’s not like it was _difficult_ ,” snapped Zoya. “You’re frustratingly predictable when you run away.” 

Nikolai frowned in confusion, turning to Genya. “Do I do this often enough to be predictable?” he pondered. 

“Only if someone pays very close attention to you,” replied Genya with a wink. 

Nikolai’s musings were interrupted by the appearance of a wayward slaver trying to take his head off, but before he could bring up his sword to counter the swing, the slaver dropped to the deck with a knife in his torso. Flipping over his head, Inej landed on the body and quickly retrieved her dagger. “You’re losing your touch, _maharaja_ ,” she laughed at him, “Seems like you’re the real damsel in distress now.” 

Nikolai barely had the time to look offended before Zoya’s voice cut through their banter as the wind sharply picked up, aggressively swirling around them and snatching the tails of Inej’s heavy coat. But he took the true brunt of the force as the gust pushed him back to pin him to the side of the ship. 

“You can’t just run off to sea and tell every pretty pirate woman who you are!” Zoya snarled. “Is that your _move_ these days? ‘I’m secretly a king, let’s fuck!’” 

Nikolai couldn’t comprehend her words, his jaw dropped in confusion. And Inej, damn her, just laughed. “It seems like something he would do, doesn’t it?” she replied. “Please release him so we can clean up this mess. We will speak afterwards.” Hardly phased by the show of power from the Squaller, Inej sprinted into another battle. Nikolai was unceremoniously dropped to his knees as Zoya released her wind to follow the other woman, all while wearing a charming look of pure murder. _He really had it bad._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pls feed me with comments I need food


	6. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zoya and Inej kick ass. Nikolai is dramatic. Genya is amused.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SCREE I AM BEHIND SCHEDULE Did you know that editing everything in the second half of your fic because you delete an angsty chapter actually causes ~more~ stress because here we AREEEEE

She was absolutely not taking out her aggression on these human imitations of garbage. Nope. Not at all. 

As Zoya decided last minute  _ not _ to impale a slaver on the prow of the ship, she realized that she was obviously lying to herself. She also realized that if anyone on the planet deserved the side effects of her rage, it would be slavers, and technically this could simply be written off as “violent therapy”. 

The mystery woman flipped over another slaver while stabbing him in the jugular and Zoya seethed. Grabbing two miscellaneous evil men with her makeshift tornado, she impaled them both onto the ship’s figurehead, which was conveniently holding a trident. 

The other woman grinned, wiping sweat off her brow. 

“Not to worry, I am not a threat to national security. I am Inej Ghafa, Captain of the Wraith. We have a mutual friend, a Kaz Brekker. The  _ maharaja _ simply likes to occasionally assist with… taking out the trash of the seas.” This information was relayed to Zoya in the middle of the fight, as the Captain dispatched three men with dizzying speed. She was, reluctantly, almost impressed. 

“I am also not a romantic interest of his. No need to worry.”

Zoya absolutely did  _ not _ gape at Inej, and also definitely did  _ not _ freeze in the battle for a solid five seconds. Definitely not. “I! I’m not worried!” she managed to indignantly sputter before sweeping the remaining slavers off the ship and into the ocean. Zoya liked to think that Inej looked impressed by her display of power, but the pirate was supremely unphased. It was frustrating. She was intimidating, damnit! “Why would I be worried?!”

Taking a few deep breaths, Zoya tried to refocus herself. It wouldn’t do to throw the King of Ravka off of a boat with his undercover pirate pal watching. His undercover pirate pal who was  _ allegedly _ not a flame but honestly Zoya was just so over romantically trusting men at this point that she quietly hoped Inej was secretly his lover so she could just throw her unwanted feelings off of the boat as well. 

But then her jaw dropped because the last things he expected to occur, occurred. Well, not quite the last thing she expected. But certainly a thing that she never, normally, would have expected. (It is unclear why she was accepting normalcy whilst chasing her fake fiance who was also a King on his pirate adventures). 

The graceful, badass, and gorgeous pirate Captain Inej Ghafa walked up to King Nikolai of Ravka and  _ kicked him in the shins _ . Just. Full on  _ kicked _ . And not gently either, if Nikolai’s cursing and hopping was any indication of his discomfort. Admittedly, the man tended towards the dramatic, but he was legitimately squawking like an offended pigeon so there had to be some truth to the pain he was experiencing. Unfortunately the man still managed to look handsome. Zoya had to shake her head. Something was  _ clearly _ wrong with her brain if she thought Nikolai was attractive while wearing that atrocity of a red wig. 

Against her will, Zoya was reluctantly impressed again. No one kicked Nikolai around as effectively as she or Genya, and Inej was proving herself to be truly formidable. “That was… savage,” she cautiously told the other woman. 

“A little savagery is always required when dealing with men,” said Inej serenely. “Especially when they are fleeing after upsetting their better halves.” 

“How did you…” Zoya tried to ask, but Inej just smiled and waved her off. 

“I know things,” is all she offered. 

Zoya turned her attention inevitably back to Nikolai. “You’re coming home with us.  _ Now _ .” She tried not to hiss at him but doubted she managed it. 

Nikolai hobbled over to a solid surface to dramatically lean against. “I didn’t  _ mean _ to leave so suddenly. I did tell David.” 

“Don’t you dare try that,” retorted Genya. “He’s the one who told us you were missing.” 

Nikolai sighed, and looked at inej pleadingly. “Please come with us and visit. Distract them from me. I am in distress.” He dramatically swooned and all the women collectively rolled their eyes, including all of Inej’s crew. 

“You should come back to the capitol with us, Inej,” offered Genya officially. “Nina misses you, and we could use more female company!” 

As plans were officially made for Inej’s visit to Os Alta, Zoya pulled Genya aside. “Did everyone know who she was besides me?” snarked Zoya. 

“Oh darling,” laughed Genya. “If you didn’t zone out at the first mention of Nikolai as a privateer, you would remember hearing about her as well!” 

Zoya groaned and threw her hands up in the air. Useless, the lot of them. 


	7. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for an intervention! Zoya gets some real talk. Inej absolutely does not have a crisis. Nina makes puns. Genya is Halloween. Alina has mom wisdom now. Mal is simply Doing His Best. (It Is Not Very Good).

Safely back in Os Alta two days later, Zoya firmly plastered her signature “don’t talk to me or I will eviscerate you” look on her face. Despite her insistence to others that it was “simply what her face looked like”, it was difficult to look normal after over a week of Nikolai stubbornly avoiding her after their kiss. She should have  _ known _ it was too good to last. The man literally ran across the country to avoid her, she felt like she should bang her head against the wall to  _ get it through her thick skull that he didn’t care for her romantically _ . After all, he had said it himself. They were  _ friends _ . 

Her first order of business for the day would be locating Genya. Despite her unwillingness to speak to her friend considering she had caused this whole predicament, Zoya knew that logically she  _ needed _ Genya today - before she did anything stupid or foolish (or both). Ideally, she needed Genya  _ and _ Alina to advise her through this mess. 

Honestly, at this point, might as well bring her prodigy Nina into it to see if the girl, woman now, had any insight regarding her teacher’s stupidity. Well hell, might as well have Inej in the mix too, since the woman seemed to have an uncanny ability to know  _ exactly _ what was happening in her head, and Nikolai’s as well, somehow. If Zoya didn’t vehemently dislike the concept of witchcraft, she would have thought Inej has some sort of witchy-adjacent abilities of extreme perception due to her ability to just  _ know _ what she was thinking. Mind reading wasn’t possible, was it? Liliyana Auntie would have told her if women could mind read. 

Rather inconveniently, or perhaps conveniently, all three women in question were enjoying breakfast in Nina’s room. Logically, as Nina had also invited Zoya, she should have known that this is where Genya would be, but perhaps the lack of logic in Zoya’s actions truly drove home the revelation welling up inside her at this moment. 

“I,” she said loudly, upon entering the room, letting the door slam shut behind her. “I need help. I can’t… I can’t do this anymore.” 

Bless Nina for recognizing the beginnings of moisture in her eyes and pulling her into an embrace before the other women could comment (for they surely had noticed). “I’m proud of you for asking,” said Nina softly. From the safety of Nina’s shoulder, Zoya could hide from Genya’s next words. 

“I should have told you sooner, Nina,” the redhead said softly. “The idiots haven’t spoken to each other at all. They… they are faking this engagement for the country.” 

Zoya could feel Nina deflate from where she held her. “Oh,  _ uchilka _ , I am sorry.” 

“Right,” declared Genya, clapping her hands. “I know precisely what we need. We need wine and some  _ sun _ .” 

Zoya pulled away from Nina to look at her friend suspiciously. “You don’t mean…” 

“Oh, I do mean,” retorted Genya. “Come, ladies. Inej, it’s time for you to  _ officially _ learn the Triumvirate’s worst kept secret.”

Nina laughed, grabbing some waffles off of the breakfast spread and handing one to Zoya before placing the rest in the various pockets of her kefta. “Inej might just faint so be prepared,” she quipped. “Saints, you could call her a  _ fangirl _ .” Nina winked. 

“I do not know what is happening, but I am excited,” added Inej. 

\--

Dressed in civilian clothes, the four women sped towards the orphanage on horseback. Their arrival was loudly announced by a flock of curious children who swarmed the group and began loudly asking questions. 

“Why do your shoes have toes?” 

“Oh you’re the nice one eyed lady! Did you bring candy again?” 

“Miss, did you know there’s a waffle in your pocket?” 

“My mom says if you always frown, your face will get stuck that way!” 

Zoya, despite her distress, managed a smile at the kids, while the rest of the group disembarked off their horses. Two familiar faces awaited them in the entrance of the orphanage. 

“This is quite the surprise,” said the white haired woman with a huge smile. The brown skinned man next to her began hugging everyone, including Inej. 

“Inej this is…” Genya began. 

“ANNA AND MIKE!” shrieked Nina, before Genya could finish her sentence. “They’re just! Anna! And Mike! They’re married! The orphanage! It’s theirs!” 

Inej raised an eyebrow from where she was being aggressively hug-squished by ‘Mike’. “Nice to meet you?” she said, more question than answer. 

The woman smiled larger. “Come inside. We’ll talk more over tea.” 

In a secluded room, Alina hugged her friends and patted Inej gently on the shoulder. Pouring everyone tea, Alina sat close to Zoya. “Now, I’m confused. The news I was hearing from the capitol was so positive, why are you here?” Quickly backtracking, she stumbled over her words. “Not that I’m not happy to see you. I’m always happy to see you! But… you usually plan trips instead of just showing up and I can’t help but be concerned. And you’ve brought a new friend.” 

Genya smiled. “Yes, this is Captain Inej Ghafa. You’ve likely heard of her from Nikolai?” 

“Oh! Yeah! The dashing pirate! The destroyer of slaver ships! The woman single-handedly ending the trade of people on our planet!” crowed Mal. “Yes, Nikolai has mentioned her.”

“Am I really the only one who doesn’t know about her?” managed Zoya. 

“You’re a wonderful General, but you tend to zone out during meetings when we talk about things outside of your expertise,” offered Genya. 

“And Nikolai’s pirate adventures always make you daydream!” added Nina. 

“Speaking of Nikolai,” began Mal, causing Alina to look at him cautiously. Mal grinned widely at Zoya. “News travels fast from Os Alta,” he said with a wink. “I’m so happy for you two! It’s about time!” 

Alina just cradled her face into her palms. Genya sighed. Nina began to laugh, and Inej rolled her eyes. Zoya, meanwhile, was somewhere between crying and laughing and screaming. Did  _ everyone _ know of her idiotic crush on the King?!

“What? What did I do?” asked Mal, staring at the women. “I mean… this is the best news, isn’t it? The pining idiots can finally stop their nonsense!” 

“I’m the only pining idiot here,” managed Zoya, blinking back tears. 

Genya sighed. “This is why we’re here, Alina. We… it’s not real and... and Zoya needs us.” 

“Alina?” Eyes turned to Inej, who was now worrying a dagger in her hands. “You… you can’t possibly mean.” 

“I can no longer summon,” said Alina softly, “so my story was complete. But as you can see, my friends are still living their tale.” 

“Is this why you kept making sun puns on the journey here?” managed a wide-eyed Inej to Nina. 

Nina grinned. “I’m pretty clever like that!” 

“Right,” said Inej, taking deep breaths. “Right, ok, right… I’m… I’m going to go…” She pointed to a windowsill and walked towards it, looking lost. “I’m going to. Sit here. I am. Sitting. Yes. With Sankta Alina. Sitting.” Looking fairly overwhelmed, the young woman wobbled over to the widow and managed to fold herself into the most uncomfortable looking pretzel against it, sipping her tea and staring wide eyed at Alina. Nina quickly joined her and the two began to aggressively whisper. 

The other three focused their attention on their long time friend and her escalating crisis. 

“I’m not… entirely sure I understand the problem?” managed Mal. “I mean… I understand this is not a real relationship and I logically know that gossip from the capitol is exaggerated, but you both seem to want each other? And you care for each other deeply, so why is this an issue?” 

Zoya slumped in her chair, burying her face in her arms. Muffled through the sleeves of her peasant blouse, she spoke. “Of course we want each other. We’re  _ good at acting _ . But I want him and he doesn't want me.” 

“Has he. Ever said that? Explicitly?” asked Alina, placing a comforting arm around Zoya. “You tend to jump towards conclusions Z. I think he probably does want you and…” 

Zoya cut her off. “Of course men want me. Sure, he’ll probably want me for a night as well! But they always leave me. I’m just a passing fancy. It’s not difficult to convince someone to want you,” she says, sounding more broken than she has all her life. “It’s convincing them to stay.”

“You are  _ not _ a passing fancy!” said Genya vehemently, grabbing her hands and squeezing them. “You’re brilliant and wonderful and gorgeous and strong and fierce and everything a partner could possibly want!” 

“She’s right, you know,” said Alina. Together with their affection, they pulled Zoya from where she had buried her face into the table. “You are worthy of love.” 

“Easy for you to say,” snapped Zoya. “You’re the one everyone wants to keep.” 

“Oh, Zoya,” sighed Alina. “Love is not ownership nor control. Love is not what  _ he _ told us it is. They don’t keep you. You give yourself to them. And in return, they give themself to you.” 

She laughed sardonically. “Who would want to share themself with me?” 

“Someone already has. You simply haven’t let yourself believe him,” said Mal. “I know what he did to you, what he did to Alina. Don’t let his ghost hold you like this, Zoya! Don’t let his shitty lessons stay with you like this.” 

“I know it’s hard,” said Alina softly. “But you are worthy and that idiot golden boy does care for you. If Mal can see it, it must be obvious, right?” she said, with a small laugh. She quickly turned serious again. “I know you’re scared. I know you fear he doesn’t care for you as you care for him. But Zoya, you can’t live like this. You have to tell him!” 

Zoya laughed, loudly, and self-depreciated. “Saints, I don’t just care for him. I think I love him! It’s absurd! And I want to scream and run away and run into his arms all at the same time! And I’m _ terrified he won’t love me _ ,” she managed, tears finally breaking through. “This is absurd! How can I sit here and complain about this to you?” Zoya squeezed Genya’s hands tighter. “You’ve suffered so much that I can’t even imagine and here I sit, wailing about my petty problems and my idiotic self worth and you’re comforting me? Me! When I’m one of those who caused you so much pain!” 

“You’ve still got a lofty view of yourself if you think giving me the cold shoulder for a few years compares to the  _ nichevo’ya _ .” Genya smiled sardonically. Zoya managed a smile through her sobs, before burying her face into Genya’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” Genya soothed her, gently running her hands through her curls. “At least you’re an ugly crier.”

Zoya made an offended noise from where she’s buried in red silk. “Not when I fake cry.”

“Of course,” Genya replies pacifyingly, rolling her eyes at Alina. 

Mal, however, was nowhere to be found. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALSO UH one day I'll write that fic where Alina and Zoya have some therapy to get past the gross grooming the Darkling put them through. You can see hints of that here but lets be fair~ I have too much fear of romance that I had to stuff into this chapter instead~!


	8. Mal Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mal is simply Doing His Best (this time, it's Very Good).

Mal did not often interfere. In fact, after years of happy marriage, Mal had learned rather quickly that he should absolutely definitely not under any circumstances unless by explicit permission of His Wife, interfere. But honestly, at this point, it felt like it was for the good of the country that he interfered. After all, he sincerely doubted that any of the women in the other room were suspect to the drunken ramblings of Nikolai at, as the King liked to call it, “Bro Nights”. 

Now, surprise Bro Nights were more Nikolai’s move, but as desperate times called for desperate means, Mal bid adieu to the visiting women and the kids, claiming an errand that needed to be run, and raced to Os Alta. Well, raced as fast as a man and his horse could race, which was admittedly rather quick for Malyen. 

Upon arriving at the palace with his normal disguise (a hat), he promptly entered through the servants quarters and began his hunt for royalty. The Royalty in question was in his meeting room, distressed and lonely with only David for company, as the rest of his Triumvirate had disappeared for a few days. At Mal’s appearance, his face lit up. 

“Malyen, my man!” 

Mal visibly cringed. 

“Was that… too much?” asked Nikolai with a grimace. 

“You’ve got to stop over correcting this, Nik,” said Mal with a sigh. 

“I called you by your last name for two years!” said Nikolai, scandalized, “The least I could do is  _ not that _ !” 

“And I’ve told you before, just Mal is fine,” laughed Mal, pulling the other man into a hug. Stepping back, he noticed the rings around Nikolai’s eyes and the exhaustion steeped into the King. “I see you miss them.” 

“They’re with  _ Anna _ , as I suspected?” Nikolai swept his hands through his curls and collapsed back into his seat. “I should have known she would avoid me after the stunt I pulled. Damnit I can’t do anything right with this.” 

“You know she loves you, right?” 

“Well of course. Everyone loves me! She…” Nikolai jumped out of his chair, knocking his crown off and staring at Mal, eyes filled with hope. “She… actually? She’s not just. Tolerating me? For Ravka? For her people? For the Grisha?” 

Mal laughed. “Well, I’m sure she’s tolerating you too, just as  _ Anna _ tolerates me. But she most definitely loves you. I heard it from the horse’s mouth. Or… rather, from the General’s mouth. Or the Storm Witch’s mouth? She… I heard her say it! That’s! What I mean! Please don't tell her I used that phrase, I might get murdered.” 

"She's astonishing when she's terrifying," replied Nikolai, completely serious. He slumped back into his chair. “She still loves me after all the nonsense I’ve pulled,” Nikolai said softly, staring contemplating into the distance. 

“Honestly, I think she loves you in part  _ because _ you pull nonsense like that,” said Mal. 

“It  _ is _ part of my charm.” 

“So what’s your clever plan?” 

“Oh, it’s not clever at all!” grinned Nikolai. “I’m just... Going to get my Queen!” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya'll are welcome for the curse of "Maylen my man" because that has been stuck in my head forever and I needed to show it to the universe to free myself.


	9. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The idiots finally talk. It. Certainly goes.

Zoya returned to a capitol aflutter with gossip. The talk, this time, was that she had journeyed to visit her family to gain their blessing for her upcoming nuptials. At least the people of Ravka were more optimistic for her love life than she was. 

She had fully planned on hiding in her room from the moment she reached the Little Palace, but her plans were thwarted by a very public Nikolai who swept her into a hug the moment she disembarked. She fought not to melt into his embrace, but his whispered “I missed you”, so soft, said in a way which truly couldn’t be for show, destroyed all the barriers she had put up on the journey home. She slumped into his arms like a cut marionette and tried to not audibly sigh with relief that he was clearly so glad to see her. She wasn’t sure she managed. 

Before she could say anything to Genya (as Nina had accompanied Inej back to her ship), Nikolai was already pulling her inside. Uncharastically deep in her thoughts, Zoya couldn’t manage to speak until they were back at her rooms. 

The door closed and Zoya laughed quietly. “Scandal number two?” she ventured. 

Nikolai smirked. “Something like that,” he said, face softening into a full smile. “I do mean it, Zoya. I really missed you.” He ran his hand through his hair, rumpling it just the way (as she had come to admit to herself) she liked. 

She smiled sadly. “I missed you too. I thought I overstepped and…” 

“I thought I overstepped too,” he laughed. “Saints, we are truly idiots, aren’t we?” He muttered something under his breath before looking at his hand, hastily shoving it behind his back. Zoya, always too curious for her own good, inched around him and grabbed the hand before he could truly conceal it to reveal… 

Smudged notes. Very smudged notes. Illegible smudged notes. And she began to laugh as well, looking up at Nikolai’s sheepish face. “We really are idiots,” she managed. “Truly? Notes for yourself?” 

Nikolai blushed, turning into his true tomato form. “Malyen wanted to make sure I didn’t miss any talking points.” 

“Talking points?” Zoya responded skeptically. “Talking points for what?” 

“For apologising to you,” said Nikolai earnestly. “For ever letting you believe that I didn’t love you.” 

For once in her life, Zoya found herself lost for words, and Nikolai continued. 

“I simply assumed that you wouldn’t feel that way about me. I… haven’t had the best track record in love and… I never meant to trap you in this! Truly! But… a part of me hoped that I could show you how much I love you and that in time you would come to love me as well. But I fucked that all up and somehow you don’t think I love you at  _ all _ and I thought I was painfully obvious! Saints, Zoya! I completely ignore meetings just looking at you!” 

“I. Thought I had something stuck in my teeth,” managed a shocked Zoya. 

“Is that why you’re always sucking your teeth in meetings?” asked Nikolai, wide eyed. “I just assumed you were annoyed with me.” 

Zoya just laughed. “I can’t believe this whole time you thought you were trapping me into this marriage! The very reason I was so reluctant to agree is because I assumed I was trapping  _ you _ into a loveless relationship! I didn’t think you could come to love me, why would you? So I resolved to simply hide my feelings so we could exist in peace. For Ravka.” 

“Oh, Zoya,” sighed Nikolai. He closed the gap between them and pulled her into another embrace, this one tighter, more secure, more loving. Her arms came up around his neck, her face finding a home against his shoulder. “We’re both fools. Me, for thinking I could ever convince you into something you didn’t already feel. And you, for thinking that I couldn’t feel affection for you. Mal told me about your fears and… Zoya your worries are so valid but never ever doubt that to me, you are  _ always _ worth it.” 

She hadn’t realized she was crying into his shoulder, but it wasn’t the sort of cry she was accustomed to. It was a cry she had only experienced once in her life, when Alina had confirmed to her, face to face, that  _ he _ couldn’t hurt them anymore. It was a cry of profound relief. It was a cry of safety, and home, and love. She pulled away from him slightly, still within the embrace, to look him in his hazel eyes. 

“I’m going to kill Mal for spilling my darkest secrets,” she said, only partially joking. 

Nikolai grinned. “You’re so gorgeous when you’re thinking about murder.  _ Saints _ , I’ve wanted to say that for years!” He laughed joyously. “In all seriousness though, please don’t murder him too much. I think he was just sick of us dancing around each other. Did you know he expected us to get together years ago?  _ Years _ ! I am  _ not that obvious _ !” 

“I guess the only people we fooled were each other,” said Zoya sardonically. “I… I still doubt everything, you know? I might seem confident but… growing up here with  _ him _ was damaging in ways I’m still trying to solve and… I’m not going to be easy.” 

Nikolai grinned, and tilted her chin up so their lips were level. “If you were easy, you wouldn’t be  _ you _ , Zoya. I’m in for the long run. For Ravka, yes. But more than Ravka, I’m in this for  _ you. _ I’m not easy either, but I love you.” 

Zoya grinned as well. “Just promise me you won’t run away to be a pirate next time we have a misunderstanding?” 

“As long as you promise me to not hide every time you see me in the hallway, it’s a deal” quipped Nikolai. 

“Deal,” replied Zoya. “I love you too. Somewhere along the line, my love for country turned into just love for her King.” NIkolai began to smirk and Zoya hissed at him. “Nope! Don’t let that get to your head! Insufferable man!” 

“But you love me,” grinned Nikolai. 

“As their kids would say, this is one of those ‘no takes backsies’ situations and Saints, I can’t bring myself to regret telling you I love you even with your ego.” 

“Good,” replied Nikolai. “Because I’d like to hear it often. I’m surprisingly insecure. I’ll tell you it often as well so you don’t do anything reckless like throw people off boats. Saints, that was glorious. Zoya, I love you so much.” 

“And I love you, Nikolai,” she managed before pulling him down for a kiss. They stayed together for a while, carefully exploring each other, softer than they were previously but so much  _ more _ because this time they knew. This time they knew they were together. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it possible to say "I love you" too much? Heck nah, don't catch me with that! Especially when your partner (and you) have a lot of self doubt~! :D
> 
> That's basically the end of the story kids! I'm throwing in a last lil epilogue from misc POVs because... it sounds funny :3


	10. Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In conclusion, everyone had called it.

It was a truth universally acknowledged that the King and Queen of Ravka had looked stunning on their wedding day. True, a part of this was due to the abundance of opulence at any royal wedding, but the onlookers (friends and family and miscellaneous alike) agreed that it wasn’t quite what they were  _ wearing _ or the pomp and circumstance around them, but the way they looked at each other that really drove it home. 

Ravka was lucky to have a royal couple that actually loved one another. And, with a Grisha Queen (who would continue to serve as General), Grisha were flocking to Ravka to live safe and quiet lives with no requirements of serving in the army, as the Queen had made it abundantly clear that Grisha were safe in Ravka without having to prove themselves “useful”. And her King, well he wholeheartedly agreed (and, according to palace reports, berated himself for months on end for not making the same declaration himself). 

Frankly, Ravkans were surprised this hadn’t happened earlier. From their understanding of place gossip, the two had been dancing around each other since the war and honestly, they deserved some happiness, being war heroes and just generally people who cared about their country and the common folk. 

Frankly,  _ everyone _ was surprised this hadn’t happened earlier, fueled in part by the comments of a man named Mike who claimed the two had pined around each other for actual years. 

Truthfully, this is not the ending of this story. It is only the beginning, but it is where we must part. Because this new beginning for Ravka and for their King and Queen would usher in a golden age like the world had never seen before. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fic title was taken from the Hozier song because I imagine both of them think they’re the snake from Eden when really they’re really just dramatic and should just kiss already. :3
> 
> I hope ya'll enjoyed this! Please comment for I am smol and require validation.


End file.
